Jack Sparrow, in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, had a compass that 'didn't work' because it didn't point to one of the actual directions. Rather it pointed to what his heart desired most. I've written about that before (What The Heart Wants). This time though Jack's compass has me thinking about the Lenten season.
This past year I've packed up and moved and stayed packed and unsettled. And we are happy. We are together as a family. We are also in a state of: what next? There are many options available to us, but which one is the one God is leading us to?
I have long felt I had a sense of direction for our family. I could sense where God was leading us. I could count on that intuition from the Holy Spirit. Perhaps too much. Perhaps I was starting to think it was my sense of direction and not my following God's direction.
So I sit, blessed to be in a warm house that is not my own, beside my husband whom I missed when we were apart, and listening to our son read his Bible aloud. God brought us here, together. I could have never guessed this. Nor planned it. My human sense of direction is easily swayed by other human desires. Understand able human desires. Forgivable human desires. Ungodly human desires.
My desire to be the only one who could read the compass led me to believe I could anticipate God. I could feel His direction early. And maybe I could. For a season. This is NOT that season.
This is my season of giving up my sense of direction and trusting completely in His sense of direction.
Jeremiah 29:11
New International Version (NIV) 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
He has plans for us. God loves us. He has plans for us. God doesn't have to tell us His plans. One day at a time. One step at a time.
My sense of direction is faulty. Each time I think we are going one direction, over another, I start making plans. I start thinking of steps to get there. And the direction changes. A phone call. An email. A storm. A broken truck.
I was crying out one night, tearfilled and confused. Wondering where God wanted us to be. I finally fell asleep. And He spoke to my heart. Where you are is where I want you to be. Be content. Be still. Trust me.
No sense worrying about what could come if we do this or that when God has it under control.
This is not a comfortable place for me. I like having a plan. I like having direction. Road signs. A scribbled map on a napkin. SOMETHING. And God smiles.
We are abundantly blessed, and thankful. We are together. We are not where we are meant to be YET. God is leading us. God's sense of direction over mine. As it should be.
What are you giving up for Lent this year?
Feel free to read the above posts as well.
Its so hard ~to be still .... The devils dang toes keep finding all my cracks ~I pray for peace .... I pray for direction ~ maybe I need to have that peace in not having direction as well ~sigh :/ I so Dont belong here
ReplyDeletewishing you many smiles in your day :)
Hey. This is beautiful. I just feel like I get you - I too have this internal sense of purpose - that nudging from the Holy Spirit - more like a punch to my stomach sometimes. But I have not felt it for a while. I am in a season of silence, of my career not mattering, of my support being the most important thing to our household. And your words were beautiful. Thank you.
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