Friday, August 16, 2013

Little Foxes

Anna is not a fox, but more of a spotted menace!

Song of Solomon 2:15
"Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, 
our vineyards that are in bloom."

It's in the Song of Solomon about the foxes ruining vineyards, but it wasn't until I read a devotional the other day that I understood what those foxes really are and they are the little frustrations, the nasty little voices, the stuff that throws us off track

When we are working on building respect in our marriage the little foxes can sometimes be the biggest challenges.  The little things.  Free range socks, for example.  I am good in a crisis. Give me a big wreck and I'm a rock.  Little foxes get me.  

Who are your little foxes? What do they do or say?  Knowing them is a good first step in dealing with them.   And often the best way to deal with them is to ignore them.  The less we chase them around, the less damage they do.

How do I know that?   I know foxes!  Foxes are little carnivores. They eat meat.  The meat of our marriage - respect, honour, love.  They don't like vines and blooms.  It is us, chasing them, that causes the damage.

In truth, the free range socks, the sneezers, flyswatters, wet rags in sinks, open bread bags and other foxes, are not BIG DEALS.  They are irritants.  They are distractions designed by the devil.  He wants us to focus on the little foxes and be defeated by our chasing them.  When we are chasing foxes we are not praying, we are not loving and we are not respecting!

When I am thinking about what bugs me about my husband, I am not thinking of him with love. With respect. 

What happens when we take our little foxes with us?  My husband is so bad for leaving ______ and it drives me nuts when he _______.  

ouch? a wee little ouchie?  We all have done it!  We should not take our foxes on the road. Or to coffee. Especially not to church!  

We won't ever get rid of the little foxes. They are here to stay. But I find it interesting that the warning about them is in a set of love poems!  They are in relationships.  They are in our garden where love grows. Where respect is cultivated.  Where things are tender and new, growing.  

We can do something about the little foxes though.  We can protect our marriage from their nibbling ways, their pointy little fox like irritations.  We can choose to ignore them.  I don't mean ignore a mountain of socks. Or wasting food.  I mean ignoring the moment when we can choose to be a wise wife or a fox chaser. 

A wise wife knows her moment to ask, "Please babe, can you pick up your socks so I can tidy up?" or "I know you don't like the bread bag clips, can you do a twist and roll so it doesn't dry out?".  And she knows it isn't when he is tired, busy, going out the door or any other moment when he isn't able or willing to hear her.  

After all, at least for me, one of my nastiest foxes is the one who nips me and whispers, "He never listens to you. You could ask all day and he'd ignore you. What a lout."  I know that little liar, and I give it the swift kick it deserves!

A fox chaser snips, nags, gets irritated and mad.  

A fox chaser makes it a big deal at the wrong time.  

A fox chaser ruins her vineyard by chasing foxes.

Dare Time!  I dare you, in two parts, to 

1) Get to know your foxes.  Draw fox faces and put on them what your foxes are.  Double dare you to let your husband do the same.  

2) Ignore the foxes.  Put them outside of your garden.  Box them up. Ignore them.  Help each other recognize them when they come prowling in your marriage.  Be gone little foxes, be gone!

Always deal with things in the right time and with respect.  Little foxes have no sense of timing (except BAD!) ad no respect.

(Confession time: I'm TERRIBLE at this.  I work very hard, very prayerfully, to deal with my little foxes.  Frustration has me almost burning down my vineyard because they irritate me so.  The Respect Dare helped me, prayer has helped me, having my husband and I talk about our own little foxes has helped.  Little foxes can only do what we let them...)

If you are here from The Respect Dare welcome! Thanks for stopping by.  I hope to hear your thoughts on this.  

No comments:

Post a Comment