God's timing with my voice

It confuses me sometimes. I confess that freely.  God brought me through the voiceless times to having my voice again only to have me muting it.  Not stifling it. Not silencing it.  After all I am still writing and creating.  But I am not being heard as loudly as I was a few years ago when I used my voice for the causes of others.

It bothered me.  God put it on my heart to share, and I did.  To the resounding echo of silence.

Many well meaning friends offered advice.  Some made sense. Some saddened me terribly. Some was just really weird!

It makes sense that we need to treat our voices like a speaker or a singer does - using them with care, not injuring them and giving them rest.

It makes a sad sort of sense that when we find our voices, and even when we use them and we are correct in what we say people will be afraid of our voices.  They will be more upset that we found them, and are using them, than when we had none.

People tend not to be good with change.  You changed from being silent, stifled to being heard. Sometimes small and sometimes loud. But we found them!  We did the work and got our voices back!

To the utter dismay of those whom we thought would be most proud. Or most supportive. Or the most encouraging. They didn't know what to do with this new person in front of them. This person, this woman, who has her voice back.  It is no longer their job to speak for us, or at us.  Conversations no longer have to flow around our silence, or absence.

One of the saddest things I heard, and it has been seen in recent blogs, is how difficult it is to be seen agreeing with someone because of fear.  Being afraid your pastor or ministry leader won't agree and discover you do.  Or being afraid to agree when it is right but the minority.  Or being afraid to say, Hey this is what I think about this and why...

Most sad, and almost impossible for me to do anymore, is to quiet my voice in order to play dumb or to apologize for having a voice again before speaking.

It is probably good my Pastor is as outspoken as I am about using our voices and talents, and is pretty open to discussion.  So many are afraid they won't fit in with their church friends or faith leaders if they find and use that beautiful voice of theirs!  You know the one God gave you back again.  Yeah that one.

When Jo Ann Fore told me about her When A Woman Finds Her Voice book launch I was so excited!  Reading the review copy of the book has just moved me so deeply!  They get it. They really do.

All those years of being quiet so no one could be wrong or embarrassed by me.  All those years of using my voice for others with nothing back but their silence when I stopped. All those years of longing to share what God put on my heart.  Jo Ann and the contributors to the book understand. They get it.

It is an amazing thing to read the book, and hear the echoes of truth ringing in your spirit.  Knowing you knew it but was still voiceless.  Getting through the healing is a process, but once we are past the hurting and moving into the the healing we find somethings that are just amazing!  I won`t spoil it, come on Wednesday and we`ll have another edition of my rolling book review for Jo Ann`s book and you can enjoy the other blogs who are linking up with Jo Ann to celebrate the launch of When A Woman Finds Her Voice

Come over to Jo Ann's page and meet the other bloggers linking up with us today.  Be sure to leave some love!  Bless you!